The present is not enough

A nameless excitement charging the atmosphere, / a yearning, / sinking into the darkness of the tumultuous night, an intimacy between strangers, / and rotten teeth, Wojnarowicz who wants to commit suicide, the heroin hole / and once again we’re all under the shivering sun, / then the unexpected, something sudden / the glimmer of water, of the river, which makes us catch a glimpse, just for a moment / and there's also the possibility of fear, / closing our eyes, becoming alone / and then finding ourselves in the wholeness of a crowd of bodies / that exhausting joy. Memory disorders, memory can only be disturbed – interferences, holes. Solitude, but plural: solitudes – a lot of empty space around a body. An aesthetic of collapse, the outdoor with no rules. Cruising.

We write about a utopia of bodies that we do not experience – that we do not have access to. A yearning to be many, a glimmering of possible futures.

David Wojnarowicz, in one of his works, sews together two pieces of stale bread, with a red thread. To make it whole again, impossible – the whole is missing. To stop life, delay death.

Or maybe we could just throw it all on nettles. Nettles are lucky. They have so many discarded ideas to feed on.

References: David Wojnarowicz, José Esteban Muñoz, Samuel R. Delany, Olivia Laing, Peter Hujar, Jonathan Weinberg, Jack Halberstam, Douglas Crimp, Shelley Seccombe, Alvin Balltrop, Leonard Fink, Zoe Leonard, Tava and many others.

Note:
i watched a documentary about an octopus. a short one. from the ‘60s. The voice spoke French, i understood little, nothing in fact. but it had a terrifying momentum, like a horror movie. i shuddered at the beginning of every sentence. the octopus had the same metallic granularity as the Technicolor film. because of the narrator, and of the soundtrack, it seemed like a murderer. it moved, dangerous, on the seabed, tentacular, slimy, but after all it was an octopus, he was doing his job. who knows if it was always the same octopus? i often wonder, watching documentaries. if the octopus whose adventures we are following, the squatting lion, the cockchafer are always the same one octopus, the same one lion, the same one beetle, or they are different individuals instead, filmed in different moments and maybe even in different places. would i be able to distinguish the one from the other? what is there, that we know how to distinguish for certain?